APPLE SCOTLAND PARODY AD EXPLAINEDPosted byGavin
Last week’s joke just broke a million so it’s worth explaining a thing or two about what is going on. The accent is Glaswegian, or at least a close approximation from hearing my Weegie parents scream it at me for past 41 years. Scots talk like Nuyoricans in that they ignore consonants and blend their vowels together in a big ball of word. They’re accent is so contorted in fact, it can change the shape of your face. This twisted mouth is called “Sham Gabbit” and is seen as a patriotic badge of pride (so’s a knife scar across your face).
Here’s the rant translated into English…“GOING TO GIVE US, GOING TO GIVE ME A HAND HERE…”Scots always start out friendly and open minded. They embrace everyone with open arms which is why they go so ballistic when betrayed.
I shouldn’t have pronounced it “hand” as the Glaswegian pronunciation sounds more like “horn.”
“GETTIN SOMETHING TO EAT. AND UH SOMETHING SIMPLE LIKE A CHIP BUTTY AND MAYBE A JAMMY DODGER…”I shouldn’t have said a chip butty because that’s what the English call it. In Scotland it’s called a chip piece or some shit. I’m amazed about how much starch drunks in both countries (actually provinces of the same country but don’t say that to a Scot) can handle. I guess they need it to soak up all the booze. It’s perfectly normal for someone to get spaghetti (spagbowl) with a side of chips. They also take bread with that but not rice. They don’t like rice. When you get Chinese food (a Chinky) you have to make a special request for rice. Otherwise it’s a cardboard container of vegetables and chicken on a bed of chips.
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